


Know That My Heart Belongs To You

by Brynstein



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e14 Memento Mori, F/M, First Kiss, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynstein/pseuds/Brynstein
Summary: What if the outtake from Memento Mori had been Mulder and Scully's first kiss?
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	Know That My Heart Belongs To You

**Author's Note:**

> There is something so eerily beautiful about the start and ending of this episode; it instills an awe in me every time I watch it. And there is just so much pure love throughout.

The first time they shared a kiss was under a harsh, white light in the cold of a corridor. Scully was so frail and grey that he thought he would lose her to the hospital, blending into the far distance where everything else was a shade of grey– that was if the scythe didn't swing low and swoop her up into death's arms first. 

Mulder held her tightly, protecting her from fading into the walls. Scully had always been short but feisty, but now she was small and thin, like the papery gown that draped her body and swamped her in size. Her small bones dug into him at sharp points and he clung onto those feelings, a reminder that she too strong to be taken from him yet.

He kept her with him, offering up his warmth in their embrace. Mulder imagined, as he cradled her head beneath his chin, that he could put the colour back into her cheeks and the twinkle back in her eye. Nevertheless, he knew that when he held Scully's face he would see her want to fight tenaciously looking back at him. 

Mulder pressed his lips to her forehead, a few thousand cells away from where the malignant beast bided its time. With this kiss he desperately pleaded with her God, for his sake as much as hers– he couldn't tackle this life on his own. He needed her. He always had if he was being truthful. 

Cupping her sallow cheeks with his palms, he tried to pour life through his fingertips into her body, willingly sacrificing himself so that she might live. Regrettably, Scully's sunken eyes glistened with ineffable pain and her once rosy complexion remained pale beneath his touch. 

Her eyes twinkled up at Mulder in all the wrong ways. Through them, Scully told him how alone she was. To be the last in a long, doomed line with no hope and no one to know what she was going through. She showed him how she ached to be free; to lift the burden from her chest; to just have a few more grains of sand in her hourglass. Scully promised him that for as long as she could, she would be with him and she would help him find the truth. 

Mulder drowned in the oceans of her blue eyes and all the tumultuous waves of emotion. Within them, he saw all of her sublime beauty, unmarred by the physical changes of illness. Scully's small smile gave him a seed of hope and her love made it bloom throughout his chest. The petals of their friendship grew too large to be contained in his corporeal body; he could feel them squishing up against his heart and fluttering in his stomach. 

Leaning in, Mulder touched her lips chastely with his own, finding them soft and warm, unlike the rest of her. He cherished the comfort of her pillowy lips and the way she tenderly nudged his in return. It was brief, only a few grains of sand from her hourglass, yet it felt like a lifetime had been lived between one particle falling and then another. Forging this new bond, it was easy to forget everything grave. Time spent like this was bright and airy, like a spring breeze full of hope. Suddenly, there was light and only new beginnings. Life was dogged in the face of evil when it could rely on love. He gave Scully his love, his soul, his support, his zest for life, anchoring her with him for as long as he dared.

Then the second grain of sand fell. 

He let Scully go, watching as she walked away from him. Her will to fight kept her bright and bold against the hallway as she faded into the distance. Pride overcame him, knowing that she chose life and she chose him, yet he was still wrought with fear.

Later that night, Mulder returned to Scully's bedside, unashamed when he took her hand and cried silent tears. And when he had no more tears to offer her, he offered her his peace, falling asleep beside her on the bed as her protector, as her friend, and as someone who loved her deeply.

**Author's Note:**

> In my first draft, I didn't use "Mulder" or "Scully" once, so I went back in and switched pronouns for names, which is why it might read a little funny. I was going to keep it as all pronouns, but I thought that might have been a little too heavy on the angst.


End file.
